ROXIE.AI

1 Writer

Additional Project Info

Hey, my big concern is that the Love Light can do two things: It can create virtual stars based on personal data that ultimately will tell people what to do, and it can use AR to make real people look like monsters. Are these at odds with each other? That's my real concern! Does it have to be one or the other or can it be BOTH?! :) I hope the answer is BOTH! So tell me. Here's some sample dialogue: A promo video reveals DINAMITA, a vivacious female Mexican star in a see-through dress; CHARLIE, a female asian singer in a tight Qi Pao; BEAR, a hairy bare-chested hunk who looks like Freddie Mercury on steroids. QUEEN (ON VIDEO) Look at ‘em: each so unique and special — like a snowflake or a cum stain. AI collects every bit of fan data — from their buys to their darkest desires — creating custom pop stars who know ‘em better than they know themselves. As fans spill mo secrets and get tight with these idols, the stars fulfill their fantasies, makin’ fans blindly obey. This is how I’ll infiltrate, dominate, and control new markets. Moved Queen’s true motivations earlier in the script to create urgency. Also made the stars more suspicious of the concert and the Love Light earlier (rather than grateful) to give them more immediate purpose and agency. Does this work? BIG POINT: ESTABLISHING ROXIE as PROTAGONIST Attempted to establish Vivian/Roxie as the undisputed main protagonist with Jamal, Tiara and Hadji being supporting characters. I did this literally by having Vivian watch the others through the two-way mirrors. I also had her calls the shots: such as using the Colonel to convince Jamal to join, and have one of the girls at the club pretend to be Rashida to uplift Hadji’s spirit. Does this work? I thought clarifying that the Colonel and the Rashida apparition were all deliberately orchestrated by Roxie would help both establish her as the protagonist and drive the story. On Page 19, Jamal sees a flash of her in the Love Light that Vivian is Roxie. On page 19 Jamal on the Love Light sees Vivian appear as Roxie in a glitch. On Page 24, I also made it clear that Roxie is alive. In the pre-Playboy scene, the host says anything for the great Roxie Star. But should I make it clear that Roxie is also Vivian there? I have the character as a silhouette because I’m not sure if we need to show it or if audiences will get it. Thoughts? Additionally, tweaked Vivian’s dialogue in those watchful moments to reveal that she’s not really the hardnosed Vivian, whom she pretends to be. I thought that’s another clue that it’s Roxie. Thoughts? Connected the impact of the Love Light AI more closely to the stars and that it’s also a danger to them. BIG POINT: Tried to make sure the Love Light didn’t overshadow the characters themselves. Is that still an issue? Is exposition still an issue? Tried to reduce that. When Tiara leaves the SSS some felt that it was a speed bump with Jamal and Hadji disappearing for a prolonged period, so I tried to tighten up the Sex Trade song, as well as make Jamal and Hadji’s scenes before and after the SSS scene more robust. Small things: Stars put on masks to hide their faces in the laboratory. And Queen explicitly states that she is telling Vivian now about the Love Light (after Board meeting) because Vivian just proved her loyalty by protecting Queen who starts to feel closer to Vivian Fleshed out opening scene more by adding the song SUPER STAR on page 1, launching right into a concert of Roxie. It feels good to have the story open with a musical number. What a great one-two combination. Superstar and then Can’t Stop Us Now. I relabeled “montages” as “glimpses.” Tried to incorporate mention of Roxie a bit more into the story, attempting to tie all the threads together better. Tried to tweak Vivian’s voice a tiny bit to make her more empathetic. Removed religious references from Hadji’s dialogue. Added a song when Vivian introduces the Love Light and then I brought the song back with new lyrics when Queen later introduces its real purpose to reduce the exposition: QUEEN & SCIENTISTS SEE BEHIND THE MASQUERADE LOVE LIGHT TAKES THE MASKS AWAY LIKE THE TALE OF DORIAN GREY WE TAKE THE MASK AWAY SHADY STUNNERS AND HANDSOME DREAMS NOW LOOK LURID AND OBSCENE SO COLD EVEN NIGHTMARES SCREAM YOU’LL SCREAM AND SCREAM AND SCREAM